Men's Articles

Do Men Kiss And Tell?

Scoring a touchdown, shooting a three-pointer from across the court-this is the stuff that makes us hanker for our daily dose of ESPN. And when it comes to the sport of dating, kissing and telling are our way of keeping score. Recounting in sordid detail how we made out with Ms. Fishnet Stockings in the elevator provides instant gratification to our male ego.

The more we "score", the cooler we appear to be amongst the brotherhood. A recent incident, however, got me thinking otherwise. I was at a club, listening to a casual acquaintance, Jacky (not his real name, but it couldn't be far off), retell a steamy escapade on the back seat of his car the night before.

To say the least, his story made me look forward to meeting his adventurous girlfriend. Shortly after, a familiar face came towards us. "Hey Jeff," she said to me as she reached for Jacky's hand. "I didn't know you knew my boyfriend." Turns out his girlfriend was Angel, the daughter of one of my mum's mahjong mates.

A really sweet girl who gives goodies to my mum every Chinese New Year, she is like a baby sister to me. I'd known her since we were little, back in the day when back seats were meant for trips to the playground not sexual acrobatics. And Jacky did what with her?! It hit me hard.

I realised there and then that when I do as Jacky had-share my sex life with someone I barely knew - I could actually be sharing intimate details about that person's daughter/sister/ex-girlfriend - an action which may carry drastic consequences. Listening to Jacky brag about Angel made me want to punch his lights out.

Then it dawned on me: kissing and telling is almost like a plaster for one's insecurities. The more insecure we are about our sexual prowess, the more we need to tell the whole world. But real men don't need to brag. At this point, I wish I could tell you I've cleaned up my act. I haven't. Instead, I've chosen to brag only to my best friend.

Whether it's about the Louis Vuitton Damier messenger bag I bought with my bonus or the cute girl I met at a pub, there are things I can't keep from my closest pal. After all, my best mate is the chief planning officer who helps me strategise a date plan - from suggestions on where to take a girl, clever lines to rip off from chick flicks, to whether flowers are in order.

For all that effort, I feel a proper post-event report is only fair. Having said all that, there is one exception where the Kiss and Tell will not happen. And this is when we meet The One. For guys, The One is the lady we see great potential to become our wife and the mother of our children one day.

For that reason, men don't Kiss and Tell on The One. In fart, we're fiercely protective of The One. We can't bring ourselves to spill intimate details shared with The One because the thought of putting an image of The One in compromising positions into the warped minds of men is unthinkable. Let the best friend probe all he wants, but my lips are sealed when it comes to The One.

But until The One comes along, guys will keep on kissing and telling. Some will do it to bolster frail egos with approving nods and backslaps from the boys. Others, myself included, will share stories in the hopes of getting tips on how to become a better kisser and lover in time. Because, at the back of our small minds, we're hoping that when The One does pop into our lives, we'll be ready for her.


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