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Ready For Some Kinky Sex?

Bored with your sex life or itching adventurous bed? Well, some kinky sex may just be the solution you're looking for! When your husband, wife or boyfriend, girlfriends suggests handcuffing you and indulging in some kinky sex, you may think, "Hurrah, finally the mundane sex is over!" or you may think, "Did I marry a psycho and just never knew about it?"

Either way, if you keep an open mind and decide to indulge in some kink, you may find yourself actually enjoying some amazing lovin'. Just remember that both partners must be willing, no serious pain or injury of any kind is inflicted and nothing repulses you. 

 Dr. Tracy Cabot, relationship expert and author of How To Keep A Man In Love With You Forever observes that while everyone talks about kinky sex, not many really know how to do it. "Kinky sex is exciting but bewildering. It's a world of primal fantasies, bizarre costumes, and scary-sounding terms like B&D (Bondage and Discipline) and S&M (Sadism and Masochism).

No one tells you how far to go or even where to begin. Accomplishing successful kinky sex takes a little imagination, a bit of know-how and real planning. There's no such thing as spontaneous kinky sex. Without preparation, you can expect a failure, if not a real disaster, the first time you try kinky sex." Whatever your desires may be, here are various ways you can enter into the exploratory and fantasy world of kinky sex.


One of the attractions of bondage is the fantasy of having to lie there and take what your partner dishes out. The Kama Sutra endorses it to heighten foreplay and orgasms. Whoever is bound can safely experience erotic helplessness, while the partner teases with fingers, hands and tongue. If your partner wants to handcuff you, Cabot advises against using metal handcuffs.

"The whole turnon in a 'bondage' scene is being able to tug at your restraints and feel like you can't get away. No 'B&D master' wants to leave his 'slave' with bruised or cut wrists; he wants her happy and intact. Use soft leather cuffs which fit snugly at the wrists with straps and snapped together with a metal clip, like at the end of a dog's leash.

They're totally safe, totally fool-proof, and very professional. A cheaper and just-as-good option would be to use small leather collars sold in pet stores, plus chrome clips sold in hardware stores." Always test ahead of time to see if the wrist cuffs and clips work.


Many people enjoy mild pain as a regular part of sex. For almost anything beyond light spanking, it's important to discuss who will be in charge. "One of you should be the leader and the other the follower or you can take turns. Before you start, tell your partner exactly what you're going to do. This gives your partner a chance to object, and also to anticipate. For example, tell your partner, 'I'm going to tie your hands up high and then I'm going to spank you'.

Mild pain is OK, as long as it's during intense sexual arousal when it's experienced as pleasure. There should be immediate release from bondage following orgasm; or else bondage could become painful.  In almost any kind of kinky sex, but especially in S&M and B&D fantasies, there is one essential step of planning which must never be forgotten: the 'code word' that means stop.

Pick a code word with your partner, memorise it, and stop immediately if you hear it. In B&D fantasies, there must be a special kind of understanding and trust between partners, a sense of adventure and a mutuality of sexual desires," writes Cabot.

Sex Toys

Brushes of various sorts are excellent on bare skin, especially when the submissive is blindfolded. For example, a soft brush such as a makeup brush can be alternated with a stiff brush such as a toothbrush. ICE is a great all-purpose sex toy that can be used in a number of different ways.

Run an ice cube over your partner's body, especially if he or she is blindfolded and/or bound, or place an ice cube in your mouth and run your lips over your partner's body. Punishment box is a good way to keep a submissive in line.

Make a set of cards, each of which has an erotic punishment written on it. If the submissive misbehaves, he or she has to draw a punishment at random from the box. Or, if you prefer, make your submissive create the cards. The contents of a punishment box will depend on the people involved.

Dirty Talking/Writing

Many people enjoy "talking dirty" in bed. There are a number of ways to do this, ranging from describing sexual fantasies before or during sex to describing whatever sex act you're doing at the moment. Some people feel awkward or silly doing this, but with practice, it becomes quite natural. You can take this to the next level by "writing dirty."

Write Out Sexual Fantasies

The dominant partner creates some kind of scenario or setting, which the submissive fantasises about, and then writes a story about or the dominant, can write on the submissive's body. You can write a word or short descriptions of what you plan to do to your partner just before you do it. You can even combine this with other ideas; during dinner at a restaurant, send your partner into the restroom with a marker pen and tell your partner to write on his or her body and come back out.

Role Playing

Role playing can be as creative and as adventurous as you want it to be. You can experiment with wigs, makeup and as many different outfits that you want in whatever scenario that pleases you.

Different role plays include the hostage, where the submissive is the innocent victim while the dominant is the desperate criminal; the pirate, where the dominant is the pirate who plunders the village while the submissive is the innocent maiden in the local town (it works particularly well if you have an eye patch and a bandana); and the mad scientist, where the dominant is the evil mad scientist, and the submissive is his helpless experimental victim-the mad scientist has the subject tied to his examining table deep in the heart of his laboratory, and can perform all manner of experiments on her.

To avoid becoming fixated or needing kinkier and kinkier sex, occasionally devote the same effort you'd invest in an exotic fantasy into an evening of old-fashioned romantic sex. Include flowers, candlelight and sexy foods, forget your fantasies for the evening and concentrate on being close with your real lover.   

20 "Aphrodisiacs" To Turn Her On

Here are over 20 "aphrodisiacs" to turn your switch on, and you don't have to eat or drink anything! Doing these things will keep monogamy hot! And they are all such fun. An aphrodisiac is a food, drink, drug, scent, or device that, promoters claim, can arouse or increase sexual desire, or libido.

A broader definition includes products that improve sexual performance. Named after Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sexual love and beauty, the list of supposed sexual stimulants includes anchovies and adrenaline, licorice and lard, scallops and Spanish fly, and hundreds of other items.

  • Wear the clothes your lover likes best or you can try to wear something wild in latex.
  • Remember to give lots of compliments to each other on a regular basis.
  • Wash each other's bodies. Be kind and gentle and provocative, or raucous and wild, whatever you're both into.
  • Say the words "I love you. I need you. I want you" to each other Regularly.
  • Try different lovemaking positions. Experiment.
  • Eat dinner by candlelight.
  • Give each other a 10-second kiss when coming and going.
  • Talk to each other about spending the rest of your life together.
  • Display your relationship vision and dream where you will see it often.
  • Serve each other breakfast in bed.
  • Spend time remembering wondrous past experiences together when you were happy and joyous.
  • Practice Tantra Sacred Sex muscle control, breathing and visualization together. If you don't know how, take a course together.
  • Call when you are away and say, "I miss you terribly. I can't wait to get home to hold you."
  • Drop something that is really important for you to do, and make love instead.
  • Share what you are feeling. Risk being vulnerable.
  • Lie out under the stars. Sleep out under the stars.
  • Watch the sun come up or go down, or the moon go across the water.
  • Feed each other food and drink. Use your fingers. Make a mess.
  • Explore each other's bodies with your eyes, hands and tongues.
  • Tell each other all the things you like and appreciate about each other. Do this every day.

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