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5 Reasons You're Tempted To Cheat

And why not one of them's worth it. Why event the most devoted girlfriend can suffer from "grass is greener" syndrome. It's hard work keeping sex fresh and exciting when you've decided to make love to just one person for the rest of your life.

One minute you're with your boyfriend, having a perfectly nice tune. The next, your head's betraying you with a thousand disloyal but totally irresistible thoughts. You have no intention of being unfaithful, but still find yourself pulling on sexy stay-ups instead of daggy beige pantyhose whenever there's a chance of seeing him.

"Thinking about infidelity is nearly universal," according to Professor Tim Spencer, who has conducted extensive research on the matter of cheating. "Ninety percent of women in our study admitted to thoughts of infidelity." Which shows that even the purest of us can be tempted. The good news? Most of the time you're not missing out on a thing.

The Sex Would Be More Exciting

Why You're Tempted: Intellectually, we know being in love with someone doesn't mean we stop fancying other people. But there's a tiny, ridiculous idealistic part of us all that secretly believes if we're with the right guy, this won't happen. So it comes as a shock when, usually about two years in, you meet someone who does it for you. This new man starts creeping into your thoughts, your fantasies, and, suddenly, he's in your bed. You're making love to your boyfriend and wishing it was him instead. Everyone else seems to be doing it. Would it really matter if you just kissed him? Who would know?

Why It Wouldn't Be Worth It: Even if it doesn't lead to anything more (yeah, right); you don't give into the irresistible pleasure of telling close friends (ditto; they don't tell; and he never finds out; the bottom line is you'd know. You'd lose respect for yourself and kill the relationship by breaking the trust bond.

It's hard work keeping sex fresh and exciting when you've decided to make love to just one person for the rest of your life. But it can certainly be done and the payoff is a level of fulfilment light years away from the pleasure of one night with a stranger. Of course this man seems more appealing- he's unexplored territory. Swap him for your current boyfriend and you'll be swapping him for someone else when the boredom kicks in again. And again.

We Argue All The Time, I Never Do With Him

Why You're Tempted: With all the arguments and slamming of doors, you're starting to feel like Seth and Summer on The O.C.. Being with your male friend, in comparison, feels blissfully stress-free.

Why It Wouldn't Be Worth It: Of course you're not going to argue with Mr Shiny and New - you're both on your best behavior in near-perfect circumstances. But arguments are healthy; they show that you care what your partner thinks. It's the couples who don't argue who should be worrying. There's a fine line between love and hate, but topple over into indifference and you're really in trouble. Assuming the rows aren't physically or emotionally abusive, and you come up with solutions, you and your beloved could simple have volatile personalities that thrive on drama. If it's turning into a problem and you're not fighting fair, check out the relationships section of your local bookshop and pick up advice on the right way to argue.

The New Guy Treats Me Like A Princess

Why You're Tempted: A final daub of gloss, earrings that cost more than you care to admit and we won't even talk about the shoes. Studying yourself in the mirror, even you're impressed with the results. You teeter downstairs to present the ultra glam look to your partner and he says ... absolutely nothing. Terrific. So you flounce out the door to your work do and the guy from the office who you mildly flirt with says, "Wow!" He spends the whole night following you around telling you how hot and gorgeous you are. We're all a little narcissistic, thriving on the high of being worshipped. Who could blame you for enjoying the flattery?

Why It Wouldn't Be Worth It: This guy treats you like a princess because he's on his best behavior. He's showering you with compliments and giving you plenty of attention because you're a possibility, not a given. Your man already knows you look great and that you're an amazing person, which is exactly why he's chosen to be with you. Unfortunately, he doesn't think to tell you very often. Think about it: When was the last time you told him he was hotter than Brad Pitt? Flattery might be nice, but it doesn't really rack up there as essential boyfriend behavior.

He's Got An Exciting, High-Powered Job

Why You're Tempted: You've just changed jobs and suddenly you're mixing with a new type of man. Your boyfriend's got a perfectly good job, but he's not exactly going to set the world on fire - unlike your friend. He's the head of the new team you're working with and puts the "Cor!" into corporate. He also pays you lots of attention, hinting at a lifestyle you find intoxicatingly exciting.

Why It Wouldn't Be Worth It: Life with this new guy probably wouldn't be dull, but it might also be upsetting and unsettling. The downside of hooking up with a high achiever is that their job often comes first (second, third and fourth), they work long hours (with little time left over for you) and tend to travel a lot, with plenty of cash to splash on whomever they'd like to share their hotel room with. As their partner, you're required to tag along to those company dinners (yawn) and look the part (no more chocolate - ever).

I Have More Fun With Him

Why You're Tempted: He's a friend of your brother's/a client of the company/the guy in the flat next door. You've struck up a friendship and you're thoroughly enjoying it because he's funny - and humour is in short supply with your boyfriend these days. It's "whose turn is it to do the dishes?" versus someone who makes you feel light-hearted and wonderfully carefree.

Why It Wouldn't Be Worth It: When the relationship moves from fun to functional, you don't just get serious about your feelings, you get serious about life. Those boozy Sunday lunches that ended up in bed get replaced by flat hunting and working overtime to keep up the mortgage repayments. But it's the weekends away, holidays and fun nights out that will guarantee you stay in love.

What Makes A Woman Truly Strong?

A woman's strength is made up of way more than just sugar and spice. But does it take a zesty personality, truckloads of character, or simply the ability to love? We find out what guys think.

Guys Speak Up

"Her loyalty and kindness to those around her." Marcus, 18

"The capacity of a woman's heart for the people around her reflects her inner strength." Harry 20

"The ability to love unconditionally despite the odds makes a woman truly strong." Benneth, 21

"One who does not give up easily even though she's faced with great challenges." Diyane, 24

"Her honesty towards her loved ones, and more importantly, her sense of humor and her ability to laugh at herself!" Aidil, 19

"It's all a matter of self-confidence and how a woman carries herself." Mike, 20

"Her overall personality, her bubbly character and her sensitivity to those around her." Dias, 22

"Fearlessness in showing her true emotions to those around her. Women who hide their feelings just aren't mature enough." Dayan, 16

"Her independence and the ability to stand up for herself makes her truly strong." Kelvin, 17

"A woman's determination to achieve the goals that she has set for herself. She never gives up hope." Vanan, 21

"She has to have great interpersonal skills and the ability to communicate well with everyone around her." Kenneth, 22

"The way she carries herself and the confident image she projects." Andre 22

 

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