Men's Articles

Should They Be Dating?

She's 15 and he's 40. Joanne used to date a 42-year-old man and now has a 38-year-old boyfriend. She is just 19. Before deciding she would date only older men, she had gone out with boys her age. Her verdict: Younger men don't make the cut.

Nowadays, it is not at all uncommon for teenage girls to be going out with men in their late 20s or 40s. Some girls meet these men online while others meet their partners at parties and bars. While most started out dating younger men, many said they moved on to older ones when they found boys their age immature and boring.

Maybe it's our lifestyle, where fathers are traveling more or are absent due to work. So the girls lack that male attention. It's back to the old theory of girls looking for a father figure. Even more possible is that they are looking for tenderness and appreciation from an adult, especially for the girls who come from broken families. The girls might also feel safer, not necessarily just financially, but in terms of having a more mature, more aggressive person around to protect them.

Girls mature faster than boys. So they think it's more interesting to hang out with older men than boy younger. Some girls admitted that financial stability is another factors. But why do older men like dating younger women? Firstly, young girls make them feel younger. And secondly, younger women tend to idolize older men so the men feel important.

Girl in her late teens is too young to settle down permanently in a social relationship. The girl should be given more time to know her peers that is part of the beauty of courtship. She will learn and grow and when she wants to settle down, she will know what to expect from her spouse, and what she expects from marriage. This will yield a higher likelihood of a happy marriage.


Flirting Via SMS

She can do it anytime, anywhere, whether she is stuck in a boring meeting, having a drink with friends or just before drifting off to sleep. Once, it got so intense that she was practically indulging in it all day. The act in question? SMS flirting. Since last December, Lydia (not her real name), a 30-year-old graphic designer, has been flirting daily with an attractive and witty man she met at work who also happens to be attached.

She and the man, who is also 30, have met up for meals but they have never got intimate. "Almost right from the start, I knew he had a girlfriend, so we flirted for fun," says the single girl. "It's almost like a dare, like wanting to see who canes in first or how far the other person would go." A typical "naughty but not raunchy" - as she puts it - SMS exchange between them would go something like this:

She: Aren't you turning in yet?
He: Soon. Fantasising about you now.
And what do I get out of it?
Heh, want me to come over and tuck you into bed?
I need more than just tucking into bed...
Now you're just teasing me.
But you like it, right`'
And you're secretly enjoying this, right?

Lydia, who says she once sent him more than 1,000 messages in a month, says being an SMS flirt gives her a thrill because of the "low level of commitment and the freedom to say outrageous things without blushing". SMS, which stands for short message service, has become such a convenient "virtual infidelity" tool that it might as well be known as sexual message service.

The first SMS is said to have been sent in December 1992 in the United Kingdom. The service is now available on most mobile phones. In fact, the use of SMS as a flirting device has become so widespread that it is now the No. 1 way people discover that their partner is having an extra-marital affair, say experts.

Media communication tools like MMSes, instant messaging and e-mail. "You don't have to engage a private investigator anymore. You just have to check your spouse's mobile phone," experts say. It is an increasing trend affirmed by a divorce lawyer. "Sometimes, the message could be just a simple `I miss you'. It is not evidence of adultery, but it is something that could lead you to uncovering more evidence of the affair, SMS has become "an easy way to generate an extra-marital affair".

It's a quick, convenient and quiet way. It is also more discreet than the usual ways of committing adultery in the traditional sense. There is a sense of detachment involved in SMS exchanges, you don't have to follow the usual social norms. And because you're not making direct eye contact with the other person, it allows you to say or do things that you normally wouldn't if you were face to face with that person.


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