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You Leave You Die!

True Life Harassing Account

Lee Kin Mun, 30


"Johan was six years older than me so I felt flattered that he was interested. I was 18, naive and stupid. Johan was not smart but he was streetwise. He left school after Form Five and ventured into get-rich-quick schemes which always failed. He was too lazy to work. I come from a very conservative family and had no exposure to boys so I fell for every lie Johan had fed me.

Our relationship started out rosy. I was head-over-heels in love with him for two years and dated him without my parents' knowledge. Soon, I started seeing him for who he was. I found out about the lies. That was when he started treating me badly. He had a fierce temper and so began to abuse me mentally and physically.

"One day, a woman called asking for him. I told her he was not at home. She asked me who I was and I replied that I was his girlfriend. The woman burst into tears and hung up. She had no idea that Johan had a girlfriend and the fact that she was so upset meant that she was his girlfriend as well. I was shattered and confronted Johan. He shouted at me and told me that I had no right to question him because I couldn't make a marriage commitment to him.

Johan had earlier asked me to marry him but I said no because I was unhappy with the relationship. That was why he felt he had a right to go out with whomever he pleased. He actually did not see the need to be faithful to me. That day, I decided I wanted out but it took two years before that happened. Every time I tried, he threatened to tell my parents about us.

My parents were very strict and I was terrified that Dad would beat me if he found out. So I stayed on because I felt there was no choice. Later on, I left home to pursue my higher education in another state. I hardly spoke to Johan, even over the phone. I felt he had relinquished his hold on me but three months later, he came to visit. Again, I said I wanted out but he refused to let go.

The next one month, Johan would roar past my parents' house at 3 a.m. on his motorbike. This woke my parents up and the entire neighbourhood but no one connected his actions to me. Frustrated, he resorted to throwing bricks into my parents' compound, breaking their car windscreen several times. My dad thought it was the work of a drug addict, so I was never questioned.

"Soon, Johan began hounding me in college. He would wait at the entrance each time I came and went, harassing me until I told the guard not to let him into the premise. So he waited outside. I resorted to using back exits, and catching buses home. When he realised this, he raced to my house and knocked on the gates. My landlady, whom I had briefed about my predicament, told him that I was not in.

I shut all the windows so he would not see me. My housemates brought back food and supplies for me as I never went out for fear of being stalked. When I did go out, I crouched in the car so he would not see me. Sometimes I got caught and would be kept out for hours, listening to him threatening to kill everyone I love.

I knew he was serious because he had connections with gangsters. The breaking point was when Johan threatened to kill me. I decided to tell my mum everything. "I felt like dying but refused to give in to Johan's bullying ways. My mother feared for my life and asked me to leave the country. I stood by with a plane ticket. I was ready to face him and all his threats.

My mother then enlisted the help of the police. I hated Johan so much by this point that I told the police, 'I want him dead, I don't care how you kill him, just kill him and get him out of my life. The police advised me they had their ways of keeping him away from me. I don't know what transpired between Johan and the cops but I never saw him again. I still lived in fear for years because of his words, 'I will lie low and when you least expect me, I will come back: Now, I don't care anymore. He was a huge mistake that should never have happened."


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