Men's Articles

Insecurity Guard


Why do you think guys have got such big egos? It's because they are insecure freaks at heart, and they cover it up by blustering about and talking big. Then again, I'm probably not telling you anything you don't already know. Egos are things that are easily inflatable but even more easily deflatable.

Egos should be stamped "This Side Up" and "Fragile" because they're so easily destroyed. Don't ever trample over it! It is what makes a guy think he is a man. Destroy it and you destroy him too. And he will never forgive you for it. In fact, if you realty want to get into his good books, start inflating his ego. He'll love you for it. Compliment him, talk about how good his built is, what a good job he has done with the computer, etc. Do a good job and he will be yours forever.

See, the point is, some guys are so insecure about themselves that they will do anything to protect them egos. And if that means not getting too close to the girl for fear of getting hurt, then yes. They will avoid the girl. All this, of course does not make any sense to the girl, but then again, guys and gals were always from different planets.

The imagined reasons for avoiding, the girl are many and varied: Some, guys are afraid to commit because" they don't want to be tied down. Some guys are afraid that if they ask the girl, they would run the risk of being rejected. Others are actually afraid that their friends might disapprove or look down on their choice of partners. And as you can, the reasons are not only varied, they are also largely silly. Enough Said.

Lock Locks Are Inextricably Tied Up With Sex

My hair was short. And feathered chicly. Yes, I do look a little like Amber Valletta. I decided. "Nice or not?" I asked my brother. "Erm ... yeeeeeah. Nice." I know you're my brother, but a little discretion wouldn't hurt. The truth be told, men in general have no objections to long hair. Some love it to the extent of requesting their girlfriends or wives leave their manes untouched.

At first, I thought this Rapunzel syndrome was man's unsubconscious recreation of the womb. When a man is down and disconcerted, nothing is quite as comforting as nuzzling his nose in his partner's long tresses, seeking shelter in her luxuriant scalp foliage. Not so. When a woman sashays past. with long hair rhythmically grazing her butt, his mother is the last thing a man on his mind.

I asked my male friends why they loved long hair. "Because it adds so much texture." Sounds like a quote from a photography manual. "Long hair makes a woman sexy." You got the order wrong. "The most `jude' women around all have long hair!" Man, you need to get out more. "I'm quite modern. In fact I think Sinead O'Connor is cool!" This from a man who salivated over Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal only to balk at her later in GI Jane.

A lot of men today still subscribe to the conventional image of a woman: long hair equals demure, easy-going, fun, safe. Short hair equals guts, individuality, opinion, strength. Scary words to men! Men are not as sexually secure as they think they are. They require confirmation that they are men, and a long-haired woman on his arm provides just the kind of blatant affirmation he needs.

Long hair allows him to say "Me man. You woman" or "Me Tarzan. You Jane". Long hair feeds the male ego. In fact, some men guard their partners' long hair with such ferocity, I have begun to suspect they're getting territorial. When my cousin traded her waist-length hair for a scalp-hugging do, it triggered an argument between her and Leong, her hubby.

She said, "Short hair shows off my neck." He insisted, "But long hair rests against your clothes, and makes it more interesting!" (Huh?!) She said, "Short hair brings out my features more." He said, "But long hair will flap in the wind when it's breezy, so you'll feel cooler."
When he finally realised he was spouting defensive nonsense, he blurted petulantly: "But ... but your hair now looks like ... like twine!

Oh, I see. Short hair is their turf. We stay off it! Why this insecurity? Perhaps because women with short hair can look gamine, chic. sexy, while men who venture further with George Clooney's Caesar bangs or Keanu Reeves' shaven crop only end up looking Qoondu. Guys don't want us to upstage them with our versatility.

But there must be another reason for their love of long hair. I think for the more poetic among men, the incongruity of hair lengths is both exciting and erotic. Our long versus their short. Luxurious silk against sparse bristles. Soft versus hard. "Nice antithesis, huh?" I asked my Swedish friend Stefan. "Tit what? Yeah yeah. But you know the best thing about long hair is when you braid it, and the man holds them like horse reins and shouts `Giddyup!' when he's ..."

Ub-oh. Too much information. But when I thought about it, he had a point. In an era of expensive sex toys, long hair is an decent alternative. "I love to run my hands through Sarah's hair," says Ben, a colleague. According to his girlfriend however, "run through" is far from what Ben really means. "He runs his hands through my hair and then yanks it like a lasso!" Ouch! But from that twitch of a smile on her face, she is an eager participant in all his hair-raising antics.

Sarah however is not your stereotypical woman, so I suggest men get clearance before they try this form of foreplay with their better halves. My friend Gary gets excited by the "secretary thing, the one where the woman buns up her hair into a tight knot, with this giant pair of specs, and suddenly whips them off while shaking down all that hair in slow-mo. Hoo!" I finally figured it out for myself. Men love long hair because it's on a woman.

Hair is hair. A dead mass of keratin. But put it on a woman, and it can be draped on her shoulder like a velvet cloak, sculpted to fall like a curtain over one eye, tousled to look like she just fell out of bed, flipped at the right moment to catch the wind. Hair on a woman is delicately twirled around her finger as she nibbles a maraschino cherry; it is swayed and bounced to catch the rhythm of her steps; it is erotically plastered on her neck in the sweltering heat. chewed in her mouth accidentally as she speaks.

In other words, a woman makes the hair. Hair on a woman is given life. It is given movement, momentum. It catches the light. It catches the eye. It excites so much, that when we give an inch, men can't help but want a yard. So yes, of course men love long hair, those poor simple creatures. We don't blame them.

 

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